Five I met when I moved to Oscar for the summer. He is my bestfriend B's cousin and is 6 years younger than me. The first time I met him I thought he was adorable, he was so shy and quiet until he feels comfortable around you, then he opens up. At first Five was just fun to flirt with and mess with. I never in a million had any intentions of being anything more than a friend of his. He was from a small town close to Oscar and there really wasn't a lot to do. Five had a friend that was IN LOVE with B so they always made sure they were around when we were. It eventually came out that Five had developed a small crush on me as well which made sense as to why every time I came in a room he would literally light up. I swear there was a time when Five really thought the sun rose and shined just for me. It was sweet and adorable. One night after quite a dry spell B and I decided that it would be OK if we just did a little kissin with the boys even though they were younger than us, no one would have to know and nothing else would come of it. So we planned this little "drive" up to a cave and asked the boys if they'd go with us cause we really didn't know where we were going. They of course were delighted to be our tour guides. What I failed to mention was about a month before I'd moved to Oscar Five was in a very serious car accident and had broken his hip, tailbone, and had a compound fracture in his femur. He was limited in what he could do and I felt so bad for him, I'd make as much time as I could for him and hang out watching movies or just talking to him. I loved the attention he gave me. I loved the way he looked at me. So the night at the cave B and her boy decided to get out and look around and because Five couldn't walk all that well yet we just stayed in the truck and listened to music. One thing led to another and we started kissing. He was so sweet, so affectionate. He kept telling me how beautiful he thought I was and how he'd wanted to kiss me since the first day he saw me. I felt bad, I didn't want to lead him on, but the attention was nice. We hung out a few times after that and then I met Four. So after Four I was devastated, beyond broken, but I needed something. I needed to feel like what Four did wasn't about me. B and her boy had continued their relationship and so he would come up north and spend some time with her. Five decided to come with him one weekend and I ended up needing him. So if you want to say that I used Five and made him my rebound, at that point in our relationship you would be right. But that "rebound" relationship lasted 2 years. I stayed with Five because of who he was in the beginning. But during the course of our relationship we both changed. He was different, I was different. I think we cared about each other, but there was definitely no love involved. He didn't know how to be a boyfriend, and I didn't know how to not have one. I know that doesn't make any sense, but he was safe to be with because I knew he didn't love me and I didn't or couldn't love him. There were times that were really good and fun, but there were also some really bad times and Five could be an ass when he wanted to. I stayed with Five for that long because I was so afraid to be with anyone else that could hurt me. I did not want to feel anything that would eventually cause heartbreak. Eventually I recovered from Four and realized that my relationship with Five was an emotional cover. Five and I ended our relationship but what was tragic about it, our friendship ended too. There was no going back to the beginning. No going back to the people that spent that first night talking for hours and laughing so hard our stomachs hurt. I was never able to look at Five and see who he first saw in me. The sun no longer rose or shined when I walked into a room for Five and we both knew it.
What I thank Five for is the boy he was in the beginning, the friends and family that I got close to because of him, he was the reason my best friend B met and fell in love with her now husband and father of her two beautiful kids. Five made me forget about Four every once in a while, and I think without having Five there, my heart would have never mended.
LESSON LEARNED: Rebounds should never be anything more than a few good times. Don't use a person to get over someone else, in the end it's not fair to either of you. And if you find yourself the REBOUND girl for a guy RUN....RUN AWAY. It will never end in your favor!
Take time when you get your heart broke. Time really does heal all wounds, or at least masks the pain for a while.