Four.....oh boy....oh boy......Four. Ok, first let me start by saying that I was under the complete impression that he was divorced, the reason I was under that impression was that HE TOLD ME HE WAS DIVORCED!!!
Ok...here's the story of FOUR. I had moved to a small town that I'll refer to as Oscar to spend the summer doing nothing but hanging out with my friend I'll call B. B and I had decided that we were going to Oscar to spend the summer waiting tables at her relatives restaurant and live in her parents summer house and basically have no responsibilities what so ever and just have fun. I was 24, recovered from loosing THREE to stupidity and just wanting to be anybody but me. One of my best friends was getting married and had asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was nervous about her wedding because her groom had a cousin whom I had a small fling with and had it end by him just not showing up for a date one night and was to have never been heard from again. (by me anyway). So I knew that Cousin was going to be there and I was trying to figure out how to deal with it all. I decided to play it cool and pretend that it didn't bother me that he'd done what he'd done to me, play it aloof if you will. The wedding was amazing, the bride beautiful as always, and I had managed to pull off my aloof attitude with Cousin. Now what I failed to mention was who Four was. He was the brother of the groom. The HOT oh my hell sexy brother of FOUR, but I had no intentions of doing anything other than helping my friend get through her big day. So after the reception we were cleaning up and the some of the wedding party decided that it would be fun to go to a dance club in a near by city. I was up for a good time so I rode down with my new friends (who were good friends of the bride and groom) we'll call them Jack and Jill ( not original I know, but not their real names either) so on the drive down Jack informs me that Cousin was telling them how much he'd regretted what he'd done and was hoping that maybe I'd give him another chance. But he also told me how Four had said the he thought I was "beautiful" so Jill proceeds to tell me that I had a choice to make because both were coming down to dance with us and both were interested in me. So we're in the club, three or four drinks into the night, feeling all sort of good and in walks Cousin and Four. Jill leans over to me and says pick one. So my thinking is there is no way in hell I'm getting into it again with Cousin, I wasn't heartbroken by him, I was humiliated.... which is almost worse. But Four, well Four was WAY out of my league and I knew regardless of me being "beautiful" to him, I'd never be anything else but a "good time" so I threw caution to the wind and flirted my little butt off with Four... all night...we danced, we drank, we laughed, and I ignored Cousin. Mean, maybe...but he disappeared on me. He deserved it.
Jill ended up getting a little more drunk than intended and was not feeling all that well, so they decided to call it a night and go home. I wasn't ready to go, but they were my ride so I told Four thanks and started to walk away when he said "you know, you could stay and ride home with me." I said "didn't you come with Cousin?" "he said "yeah" I said "um. no thanks." he said "he can find him own way home." Four and I ended up making out in the parking lot, half way home on the side of the road in the car, at my sisters house after we got back into town....all night long.
So my thinking is I just had a PG13 one night fling with a HOT guy and I was going to go back to Oscar and continue my summer of no responsibility and chalk this weekend up to a "good time" Four asked for my number, but isn't that what their suppose to do to avoid them making you feel like a 'one night stand' . I returned to Oscar, told B all about my weekend and went on with my summer. To my surprise Four called me the next day, and the next, and the next. Two weeks later after talking everyday to him he asks me where I live. So I half ass explained how to get to Oscar from where he lives thinking he was just curious, very few people had heard of Oscar let alone ever been there. It's outside of a small town and consisted of 4 other houses, in the middle of nowhere. B and I lived on a Ranch in the woods miles off the highway. It was almost impossible to find without a detailed map so half ass directions you can imagine would be completely impossible. I seriously thought that Four was just curious. Around midnight that night 6 hours after our conversation Four showed up on my front porch. He'd drove 3 1/2 hours to the middle of nowhere, got completely lost, and had been driving around for hours trying to find our house. I was blown away. No one had ever gone through so much to spend one day with me. We spent all night in each others arms and most of the next day until he had to leave. This was the beginning of a beautiful relationship I told myself. Four and I talked every day, I went back to my sisters for the weekend to see him, we spent as many weekends as possible together even after I moved back up north after the summer was over. He came to see me up there, we ended up going to my cousins wedding together and I introduced him to my parents, my family, my friends and we spent the weekend with B and her boyfriend at her families condo in a resort town a few hours away from where we lived. It was the perfect weekend, we watched movies, we went to a fancy restaurant, we made love for the first time.....I was head over heals, in complete, 100% in old fashioned love with Four. Two weekends later he came to my parents house the weekend of my dad's 50th surprise birthday party and met the rest of my family. He met my gran-d. My favorite person in the whole world...she took one look at him, one look at my face and she knew. I was in love. It had been 4 months since that first night with Four and I had never in my life felt this way about anyone. I was back up north and I get this phone call from some woman claiming to be his WIFE!!! Wife had gotten my number off his pager and called to tell me to leave her husband alone. I of course was shocked and stumbled my way through the whole conversation. I hung up and immediately called Four to find out what the hell was going on. He of course denied the whole thing, said she must have gotten it while he was over there picking up the kids, that there weren't still married and that he was in love with me, she's just crazy. So of course I believe him. 1 month later 2 weekends with him and numerous "crazy" phone calls from her I get the phone call I knew was coming, just couldn't let myself realize it. He called to tell me that he was getting back together with his WIFE, that the divorced hadn't gone through completely, so he stopped it because he thought that's what needed to be done for his kids sake. He had moved back in with her a month ago and he was going to try and make it work for his kids. He kept saying that..."this is only for my kids sake" like that was helping the fact that I'd just spend 5 months with a married man, that he'd made me his dirty little mistress, that I was so in love with this man who had lied to me, over and over again he'd lied to me, but he was sitting on the phone confessing his love to me and telling me how sorry he was, that he never meant to hurt me. I hate that line..."I never meant to hurt you" well.....you did and it hurts just the same.
I was devastated, I hung up the phone and I swear could literally feel my heart break. My chest hurt, my thoughts were everywhere, the room I swear was spinning, I was 100% undeniably, completely broken.
Ok, so what I thank him for is what hate him for at the same time. It was loving me, telling me every time he saw me that I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, and somehow making me feel that. Kissing me every time with such passion and affection, and backing it up with his looks. OMG....the way that he would look at me, never before or since had I felt so beautiful, special, wanted, needed, sexy, and loved by one look. I loved this man, I without hesitation will tell you that both good and bad Four had a very real impact on my life.
LESSON LEARNED: I learned from Four to love completely, trust without hesitation and for the first time in my life I'd learned the true meaning of the word pain. I learned that getting thrown into an emotional tailspin will only land you in an emotional hole that will take you years to dig out of. I learned to never trust a look. Not everyone can learn to look at you like the way he looked at me, it's a rare breed that can say what you want to hear and make it what you need to hear without blinking an eye. But they exist, they are what are referred to as PLAYERS or CHARMERS or LIARS, or CHEATERS, but I guess the one true thing I learned from all of it is
if a woman calls and claims to be their WIFE.....she probably is and you'd best believe her.