So let me first start by telling you a lilttle about each one of these 10 men.
#1 we'll call him ONE. (genius isn't it?) so I met one when I was 15 years old. I had had other boyfriends before him, but he was my first serious relationship. He was 2 years older than me and hung around with my cousin and his friends so access to him was made a little easier. He was tall, dark, cute, and so so shy. His shyness was adorable. I was the opposite. I was outgoing, and ran with the popular girls. I was a dancer on the dance team for our high school, played sports, in student council, so pretty much your all around typical "IN" girl. I remember the first night I flirted with ONE I seriously thought he would die of embarrassment, but I didn't care, he was so sweet and so nice that I just wanted to be around him. We eventually started dating exclusively. We were the IT couple. We dated for 2 years and everything was great for the first year and 1/2. But something happened to ONE. He came out of his shell, whether of not it had anything to do with me I don't know, but regardless he became outgoing and every girl wanted to be around him, not only was he hot but he was still sweet and so much fun to be around. He discovered that he quite enjoyed the attention that other girls gave him and I discovered my jealous side. Long story short, I became possessive and he became detached. He ended our relationship and I had a really hard time dealing with that. I acted like a total drama queen whenever he was around, and I tortured the next girl he started dating. I eventually surrendered my obsession with him and got past that part of my life.
One and I tried our best to be friends during the remaining HS days, but it wasn't until 4 years later we hung out again, we had a short fling, but it was never right for either of us. The one thing that I will say that ONE taught me was forgiveness. He had every right to hate me after all that I had done to him, and the way I acted, but he didn't he took the high road and taught me humility. I will forever think of ONE as my first "love" and appreciate him for the man that he was and the way he treated me, even in the bad times I was never disrespected or treated unkind by him. Not once. To that I want to say to him. Thank you.
The lesson I learned:
Jealousy gets you no where. The only person who benefits from it is the girl who gets him after you. The one thing through out the years I've learned is either you trust the one you're with, or you don't. Sounds simple and maybe stupid, but don't give them a reason to cheat by accusing them before they do. Cause if you keep thinking they will, chances are they will. You have to be secure in the relationship you are in and with the feelings that person has for you, if you are not, then that's about you... not them.